You Have Exactly the Love Life You Want
The other night I was watching one of my favorite movies, The Wedding Date. There is one line late in the movie that has always struck me as interesting. I’m not sure if I have it verbatim but this is close, “Everyone has exactly the love life they want.”
There are a lot of ways to interpret this simple premise.
That if we have settled in a relationship for whatever reasons, we have done so even though we might feel we deserve or want something better but what we have is the best we can do.
That if we know we want more love, affection, passion etc in our relationship that we are too afraid to go after it.
That we let out guilt and obligation overrides our desire for a more rewarding love life.
That we lack faith, courage or trust in the future that what is in our best interest’s lies in front of us if we will only embrace it.
I’ve been there and I can tell you that waiting does no good whatsoever. Life passes us by each day and one day you may look back and wish you had done something different sooner.
I am not talking here about abandoning long term relationships without some work. Relationships are not easy, never have been and never will be but this doesn’t mean that they can’t be grounded in affection, passion, appreciation, support, belief, love and nurturing. Too many couples lack many of these ingredients and one or both people quietly suffer in their own inner prison one day after the next, while always hoping and wishing.
If you have a relationship that lacks respect, unconditional love, total acceptance, passion and intimacy it might be time to consider the trade-offs or the benefits versus the disadvantages of staying. But, before you move on too quickly you might want to consider that wherever you go, there you will be. In other words you have to take you into every relationship. So before you jump ship you might want to ask yourself, how I am I contributing to the current state of my relationship?
I have met few people who have been living in wedded bliss for 40 or more years. They all faced their challenges but in the end if you are not a “team or a partnership” embracing all of the above qualities your may just be living a lie and are too afraid or insecure to change.
Life is too short to live it without receiving and giving love.
There are no benefits to settling. So you currently have the love life you want. Want something better? First ask yourself why and if your answers are grounded in common sense, survival or emotional well being and your inner guidance system tells you to leave, then leave and trust the process of your life.
If you’re inner guidance system tells you to say, and then start doing what you can to make your current relationship rewarding, fun, respectful, loving and intimate. But either way when you hit your final years whatever your decision you will have no one to blame for your life but yourself. Are you ready for that responsibility?
